it's my birthday!

It's been a long time I guess..this space is quite dusty.  Today, I'm trying hard to sweep it, vacuum it and wipe it.  Often we heard life begin at 40.  I'm 39 today..yeah and a very happy birthday to me.  To be honest, it's just another day that will pass by (if there's still tomorrow for me).  I'm praying so much, a lot with all my heart and soul that my life, my prefect life (bet nothing is perfect in this world) will begin at 40.  So I've got one year left to fill in.  May Allah grant all my duas and wishes.  Only He knows what is the best for me.  Thank you Allah for this life and lessons, thank you Mak for everything, thank you Ayah for everything...In Sha Allah we'll meet again in Jannah with all the blessings from Him.

Revealling a secret of me on my birthday..

Facebook

Lately I found out that I'm no longer interested in Facebook.  When I loggin every morning, nothing catch my eyes except an interesting and knowledgeable articles that people share with me.  I guess it's because of the gen-X that I'm in.  I'm not the kind of telling-all-your-feeling and reporting-all-your-workout-eatout. Randomly I share my family photos or my kids photos.  I love the way we are now, secretly living our own life.  Hence..why you want the world to know everything that comes ups and downs about your life. Well..different people have different view, I follow my own rules.

Good Values

There's a wake up call and it does drive me crazy! My mind never come across those nasty matters throughout my living years.  Thank you Allah for giving us such a beautiful parents that never insert those nasty values in our mind.  Well said, whatever happen this time we must unite and stand up for the best of Ayah.  May Allah protect Ayah always..aminnn.

New interest

I've found a new interest.  I'm writing to Allah everyday since a couple of months ago.  I know I don't have to write anything to Him.  He will know everything, every second what I've have in my mind. It's just that I want to be reminded as the days goes by what I've asked from Him each day.  Happy Friday!  May all of us be blessed by Him..In Sha Allah..

Congratulation Ayah

Dear Ayah,

I'm truly, sincerely happy for you.

Dear Ayah,

Now that you're married, we are still adapting to it.

Dear Ayah,

Glad to see that big smile on your face.

Dear Ayah,

Wishing you a happy life here and in Jannah

Happy Birthday to me..

The most person I really want to hug right now is Mak.  Back to 28th August 1975, at this hour, minute and second maybe I'm in Mak's hand, holding me or put me to sleep.  On this date today in the year of 2013, I'm here being myself and still in the middle of a journey that has no end.  Mak is not around anymore, happily living in another world.  Alhamdulillah...Allah let me dream of her last night.  She's happily preparing meals for my small birthday party.  How I wish that is not a dream. I truly miss Mak.

When the blues cathcing up with you...

It's been a long way to update the blog...I'm in bluesss...no words to write, no memories to share and no moments to be awaited...

Just me and a daily life to run because of Allah.  I'm just His servant, I'll stay as long as He wants and will go back to Him when the time's come.  As the days flow, I've to be prepared to see Him as we never know when is our time to see Him.  My doa to live happily ever after...Amin...

Skateboarding!!

Watching those kids moving with skateboard yesterday make me eagerly want to try out this fella.  Back at kampung, eimans and the jasmian always play with it.  They would sit on it and push it down at the front porch.  I've tried it once and thinking about the pain...it's period! hahaha... As the day goes by and having a thought that I must do something that I can be proud of till the day I die, I must do skateboarding! hahahahahahhahaha such a bad joke for a person at my age...(such a negative remark!!!).  One thing for sure..

Awning

I recently thinking about awning and how much I love the look.  Just imagine...having a stripe awning in front of my new room at kampung...mmmmmm...aaaahhhhh....lovely... Giggling how charming and chic it will be, I've done some googling job as usual when my master is not around haha.. I just love it!

New room

I need a new room! I definitely need a new room as I've lost in a silence battle over my own bedroom haha.. Better left unsaid about how I've lost my room back at kampung, am doing some research  of  a new room at the moment.    Some of the pics that I've managed to google around this morning.  Hopefully the project can start very soon...

The coming of Rajab

I welcome Rajab with a doa last Friday.  I pray so hard that I can reach to this year's Ramadan and many more Ramadans..In Sha Allah.. I can still freshly recall Mak's face on that 19th Ramadan last year, big smile, bright face accompanied her final journey.. Al-Fatihah.  I remember she kept asking me what to cook for Hari Raya like she's gonna be there on Hari Raya.  Allah loves her more, He brought her back to Him during Ramadan.. Thank you Allah for lending our Mak, we will always treasure the never ending love from Mak, her lectures, everything about Mak is so priceless..

Nice mail!

Only today I've managed to retrieve the picture from my iPod after I secretly took my iPod from the girls and   let it stay inside my bag for the whole night.  It was so hard to even touch the iPod because the kids nowadays in control of all the gadgets.  The only thing that save with me is my old Nokia handphone.  Enough for me to make a call and sms..sigh!  The kids never take a look at it, nothing interesting maybe..
I really want to show this picture to makcik hehe..  the cute-I-think packaging to our customer.  Even it took a while to reach her but I'm satisfied..she's happy and I hope she's going to like it.  Aaarrrgggghhhhh! I really want to do this full time but but but....so many buts at the moment and I hate it!!!!  Btw..kakak love it and even asked me to wrap her birthday gift just like the picture.  Thank you kakak.. What about you makcik *wink-wink*???

Only Allah knows..

We seldom see a terrible accident but once we're at it, the feeling is totally different.  I've seen dead people on the road before and yesterday was the one that I'll not forget for the whole of my life.  My heart goes out to the family... The flesh and blood is everywhere on the ground, I've noticed something like a brain or the stomach's cord or anything that used to be sitting in our tummy coming out hanging on the road. My tummy suddenly full with butterflies and my eyes became so round to snap an image. My inner voice kept saying don't look at it but my brain has directed my eyes to sharply look at it.  Enough said about that.  My detective side then busy doing some forensic search on how that incident took place. The placement of the body, the mark of the tyres on the road, the suspect, the vehicle etc all became the objects the we should focused when entering the scene. Hahaha..another side of typical Malaysian.. Anyway..hv to alert my brother  to be extra, extra careful on the road.  May Allah protect us all the time...Aminnnn

Resetting my mind

The older I become, the harder I have to tame my mind.  The test in our life comes in many ways and faces.  Depends on how we take it. During my younger days, I always take it so hard that I would ask Allah why am I always like this, don't You have any other people that You want to gotcha.. how pity I am to ask that kind of question to my Creator...  Nowadays...as the number grows, I'm learning to take every test that come not so hard nor too light.  I want to enjoy every moment while I'm still alive.  Problems may arise all the time, just let your heart out only to Him, tell Him everything, people will not understand but He will.  Have confident in Him, He has all the solutions that you're looking for.  Friends..not matter how good you'd consider them but not as good as Him, not as close as Him to us.  I've learnt not to trust friends too deep as at the end of the day you'll be bloated with worries..worry about the Gossip Girls drama...  But in Him, it's only you and Him.  Take some time in solat for the heart-out session, He's always there for us, He never forget us, hence it's from Him that we come and to Him we will return.  He will for sure has a cure for every pain that we feel.  Keep the faith!

  

Words from the heart...

Mak...
Never in a minute I stop thinking about you
Every night I'm waiting in my sleep if you
could send me some news from Heaven...
Eagerly I want to know how's life at 
your new place...

Mak...
I did pray so hard for you 
asking Him to let you and Ayah
long live happily ever after...
Now... I did pray so hard for you
asking Him to place you in the 
Heaven together with all the
people that He loves...

Mak...
Living here in the world without you
is clueless, full of misery and mystery
but I always keep the faith 
only Him knows what's the best
for each one of us...

Mak...
No matter how hard I cry
My tears will never bring you back
but one thing for sure
I will come to you on a one fine day
I pray so hard that you will wait for 
me and together
we will walk to the eternity...Heaven
In Sha Allah...

Al-Fatihah...

Weekend headache!

I've got a headache that's been nagging me the whole weekend! Pffttt... A mountain of clothes are waiting to be folded plus another basket of just-washed-shirts awaiting to be hanged! Uuurrrgggghhhhh!! A never ending story.. Love and hate, no compromise! Plus, I miss my dad!

Patriotic Trip

We had our first Patriotic Trip to the Tugu Negara on a sunny afternoon last three weeks. It was so fun and memorable trip. The kids love it very much and even asking when we can go there again... Here's the sweet moment that we managed to capture. It's not that easy to put the kids in line haha...

Baby..baby..baby how are you?

Every day I keep thinking about my baby....my baby melon hehe... It's been a month now we didn't see each other.  I wonder if she's still alive or drowning in the rain or thirsty under scorching sun.  Whatever it is, I wish her a long live and manage to get through all the unknown possibilities that can happen to her.  She can't protect herself, poor my baby melon...  Dear baby melon, till we meet again soon and take care.  Please keep quiet when those chicks come near you..they are EVIL!!

I hope you can become this big..

Totally Stranger!!!

Dear Stranger,

I don't know who you are, where you're from, what's your citizenship but please get out of my sight!!!  I don't want to hurt you neither kill you but please..walk away from my nest!!!!!!!  You're not the one that I always see!!! You're scary creepy crawlies!!

Life is a test!

When we have a problems in our daily life, we never know when it will end and how we're going to handle the problems.  Our problems come in a different ways.  Life is not that simple, that is why we need a strong faith inside us.  Keep reaching Allah all the time and ask His favor to lead us through the way.  In Sha Allah..we may find the right path.  I always look back to all my probs and always thinking why it happen to me and why I have to face all the burden things.  Then, by doing some acts of good listening to a pearly words, I realize that Allah knows better, He knows that I can handle it.  There are times that I gladly think that how great Allah created everything, esp. me, a tiny weak human, to overcome a big problems *in my case hehe*.  I'll always pray that Allah will grant all my doa, In Sha Allah..